- Paula Jeffrey
Manifesting Generators & Quitting Too Soon
Are you a manifesting generator who quit something, and then soon regretted it? My first instrument was the piano - it was also the first thing I remember quitting.
At the beginning, I loved playing piano. It was freeing, it was fun, I felt like I was good at it, and I loved playing fun familiar songs and singing along! It was when I started being pushed into conservatory, when piano playing turned into a challenge instead of a pleasure, that I started to hate it.
The second thing I hated about piano lessons was that I had to practice and perform. I had to be something for someone else (open will) and it stripped all the joy from the experience. I can still feel my hand marking the X on those little stamps in my lesson book, claiming I practiced when I didn’t, just to avoid the confrontation (undefined solar plexus) of not practicing yet again.
I can still remember getting those butterflies in my stomach before my lesson, “will she be able to tell that I didn’t practice?”. I just despised going near the piano to play those boring classical songs.
Lesson after lesson, my “Best of Disney” song book sat lonely in my little red bag. Passed over to reach for that dreaded Celebration Series, full of conservatory obligations.
And then one day I quit. I might have passed level 1, but I don’t remember, I didn’t care. It wasn’t fun anymore, it became an activity of necessity and obligation instead of one of creative expression - which as a manifesting generator I craved.
After that, I continued to putter through my Disney book, teaching myself new songs, trying to make my hands move the way they needed to. I tried to nurture the spark that was still there but the tone that I had “quit” was a little too loud. I failed. I dropped out. So eventually I stopped playing and the piano was sold.
Manifesting Generators & Quitting Too Soon
As a Manifesting Generator, the list of “things I quit” is pretty long. My parents always took the time to help me be wise about quitting. They pushed me to try a little longer, to give it another shot, and ultimately honoured my voice when I declared I was done. But society and media and the world around me imprinted upon me that I was a failure for quitting so many things.
And that's how I saw piano: a failure. It was the first time I really failed. The first time I quit. I gave up. I resigned. It was a completely negative experience in my memories until I began to explore it through the lens of my authentic needs.
As a manifesting generator, I am busy and prolific. I love to express myself in all sorts of different ways! MGs are prone to skipping steps because they’re looking for efficiency, for the quickest way to do something. With their eyes set on the prize, the boring, hard or menial tasks tend to be difficult to push through for MGs and it’s something they need to be taught. They want the flower garden! There’s energy for designing, plotting, and admiring the garden, but not for pulling weeds.
In looking back at quitting piano, I asked myself: what was the purpose of starting piano lessons? To become a maestro? No! I wanted to be creative, to create music, to feel, to express, to learn something new and be able to sit down and play my favourite songs.
When the goal became something boring, like passing my piano exam, I quit. When I wasn’t having fun anymore, I quit. When it became about how good I was and how hard I worked instead of how creative I could be and how much fun I could have with it.
From an energetic standpoint, when my sacral energy was no longer lit up for the task as hand, I quit. I was perfectly energized when bopping along over-and-over again to a broken rendition of “Under the Sea”, but the scales and the classics turned me off.
In looking back from the perspective of human design, I see why I quit and I see my other options.
How would I approach this today?
Looking back at little manifesting generator Paula, I would encourage her to reconnect with what she loves about piano and see if there’s a way to shift the process so it honours that. I wonder what would change then? Would she still have quit?
Manifesting Generators don’t have to feel like quitters just because they move through different passions. We can quit things without being failures. We can also push through the urge to quit when it’s a little too soon or rooted in fear.
When you do have the urge to let something go, ask yourself a few questions and follow your authority:
Do I still enjoy this?
Am I quitting because of fear?
Is this part necessary in order to reach my goals?
Can I outsource the part of this work that I don’t enjoy?
Can I change the way I’m doing this to make it more fun?
If I push through this part, is there something wonderful on the other side?
By asking my self these questions I've learned that quitting the piano felt frustrating because I did it out of fear. I quit when I should have readjusted. So better late than never, I got myself a piano and I'm playing it my way, when I want, how I want!
Whatever you decide, dear MG, embrace the evolution. Dont be afraid to do things differently, don't be afraid to ask for help, and don't be afraid to let go when things are done for you.
No matter what, when you follow your strategy and authority, whether you quit or keep going, it will be right for you!